You amazed me/Gotta find my flow

What’s on my mind at 11:33 p.m.? First, yaaay! I’m early. It isn’t midnight. Secondly, yay! Kids are sleep! My contact lenses are sticking to my eyes, but I’ve got a minute to write…and read.

Who are all of you that read my blog? What did you like? and Where have you been? What an amazing, inspiring moment when I opened my email a few minutes ago. All these names of people I don’t know that somehow found something interesting in my babble. Wow, when my own husband always says: “Bbbbrrr! You’re like a parrot!” That’s because he says I use too many words…and I tend to go on and on, interjecting expressions not used in typical every day language. Like, who says ‘interjecting’ in a normal sentence? Or, driving to New York this morning and rehashing old hurts with my husband (don’t you hate long drives where you can’t escape the car because you’re too far from anywhere that you recognize, but you just want to get out and walk home anyway?) and not finding it strange at all to sarcastically use the word ‘bodacious’ with a serious expression. Mind you, I’m from Detroit – the big D, the hood’…and yes, I grew up not too far from 8 Mile… Seven Mile to be exact… Now, say ‘bodacious’ again without laughing.

Yet, I don’t find my vocabulary odd at all. I grew up in the house, reading books, any and every book – including math books and the Yellow Pages. It’s because I had severe allergies and I was allergic to most things outside: grass, trees, dogs, cats or any animal dander, pollen, venom and stings. With pollen in the air and the neighbors mowing their lawns, I’d end up with eyes swollen nearly shut and severe sinus infections. Safer to stay inside than suffer the consequences.

And I had drama, too. I’d stand at the door and sigh continuously until my mother got a clue and asked me what was wrong. After saying I was bored and wanted to go outside, she’d say “You know what’s going to happen if you do. If you’re bored, go read a book.” I was the kid that did.

Goodness, my husband’s snoring right now is incredibly annoying. I feel my skin peeling off, from the spine. It’s hard to imagine even YOU can’t hear it. Yes, it’s that loud!!

But, anyway, I guess his original point is valid. I do ramble on. What was my focus here? It was the fantastic feeling I had seeing responses to my last post. I was really wondering what motivated it and had to go back to see what I’d said. SNORE, SNORE, SKIN CRAWLING….

Just the simple knowledge that someone was curious enough to read what I had to say made me want to say something significant. Remember E. F. Hutton?

It’s hard to remember what I was going to say. How can snoring people even sleep without getting on their own nerves? Really. You know those ridges on the side of the road that warn you when you’re falling asleep? Imagine an elephant, a donkey, a cow and a T-Rex in an 18 wheeler that’s drifting off the road. Can you hear the commotion? How can I fall asleep with that beside me? And look, it’s after midnight yet AGAIN!

So, anyway, thank you for reading my post. Grazie mille, because it made me want to write again even after a sleepless night and a 10 hour road trip and the present sounds of a whale giving birth that I must endure. I have not picked up my manuscript again, but I’m getting there. I have accomplished other things, though.

1.) Worked on my greeting card collection, tweaking ideas and purging the nonsense.

2.) Posted to the blog again. Thanks to you.

3.) Mulling over ideas for the crowd funding project.

4.) From the throes of a heated argument (slightly resolved now), I found the inspiration to write a poem and a greeting card idea. Remind me later to share.

5.) Still thinking about my characters and how to jump-start their stories again.

I know the first step is to pull out the manuscript and start reading. Maybe then I’ll know what to say next. I hate to struggle with the next word, the next sentence, the next thought. Sometimes, you just don’t have flow. I’m doing all these other things now because I don’t have that flow. When I get it, I’ll let you know. For now, as my battery dies on my computer, I go to sleep (ooh it’s finally quiet!) with this thought: Have something significant to say, and have people interesting and willing to listen – all key to writing well. What a great place to start tomorrow, and end tonight.

Buona notte a tutti! Ringraziamo ancora!


About bologna2bethlehem

46 year old blogger/writer/poet/mother of two, missing Italy heart and soul...2017 still.
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